In other news

The sky remains jittery as we enter the third week
Of what has been an incessant spell of blood rain,
Heavy black snow and tidal storms. Experts say
This weather is likely to continue for a few eons.

Thank you Hedon for that update. Now, moving on
To other news; Icarus flew to the sun again in an
Attempt to grab that light and fell on the rocks- yet
Again. Bathory, your thoughts on this? Bathory...

Bathory you there? Folks looks like we have a
Technical issue here. Moving on. Chinua Achebe
Was caught eating locusts in his bullock cart at
The Santa Monica boulevard. He remains defiant.

His lawyer has submitted a petition that says,
"The defendant has every right to chew what he
Wants." Replying to a comment by the prosecution
He said Africa or not Achebe will do as he pleases.

Now over to Carlin for some of that other news
We have been waiting for. Oh! We have Bathory
With us now. "Yes Ritwik, I can hear you. Just so
You know how waxen wings and Promethean heat

Aren't the best of friends!" You had some of that in
Your castle didn't you? Just kidding Bathory. We
Will return to you in a moment. We have Carlin live
From West Bengal. He has something to say. Carlin?

"The seven unspeakable words here seem to be different
From what I used to do. In fact its only two. Women and
We-Men! I say go fuck yourselves rather than sliding into
Restricted, independent zones. Thank God I am dead?"

The main headlines for you once again! Weather looks
Challenging, Icarus is nursing his wounds- again, Achebe
Will always do what he wants. Bengal lies in waste while
Carlin is glad he's dead. Aren't we all?

So, until we meet again this is Ritwik signing off from our
Studio at the bank of Padma. Thank you Bathory and Carlin
For those deep insights. For what have we the dead got but pride?
Good eternal night!