Death By Boredom

Last breaths and heaving sighs,

Pernicious deaths and howling

Cries. All for what? For death.

Some shed happy tears and some 

A stoic smile; has anyone

Thought of other deaths for a 

While? Sitting on a dusty chair,

Within idle walls and humid 

Air, death by boredom seems a

Prospect only fair. A rusty guitar

Plucked to death, a sofa with

Heaps of things never cared, a t.v

Sitting mournful on a stand without

The power to speak idiocy- A perfect

Recipe for a bored's broth today.

A dining table never dined on

Scoffs at me. For the gadgets

Sitting on it is its only use.

Glad to know, these objects don't

Have a mind and reading

They can't lest one day the t.v 

Starts reciting Tennyson's Ulysses,

"How dull it is to pause. To rust 

Unburnish'd and not shine in use."

What a catastrophe that might be. As

For me boredom is the chalice

And monotony is the wine

I drink. Its not Pinet Noir but,

Serves the purpose nonetheless.

Getting drunk with it and puking

Inactivity, and all energy spent

Inthe splitting hangover. Only

If boredom and immobility could pay,

I would employ Rockafella

To his utter dismay.

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I lie

Am in a state of insolent silence,

Where the noise is peace and the 

Silence is maniacal ruckus within.

Am here not for tomorrow, by today

I lie... 

Am not the one who seeks or is sought,

But, just a shadow of flailing discontent

Of the givers, creators, painters of pieces

That once saw images of others on him. In

Time I lie...

Am and not will be or was or should be,

For all the sights and the sounds that

Maketh me the dire beast nor the winged

Angel. With needs few foresights many

I lie...

Am what you will not make of me and you

Do not exist in the chasm where I lie cold

But content. The warmth not toucheth me;

And you, a dream amidst a reality in which

I lie...

Am what you made me, made of me, made with me,

An equation, a numb sense on a bed of treachery 

That once made you man and woman- alike. I am what

You should not have but yet, you just as well... I,

I just lie...

Begone! Not you, not me... But the strings that bind

Us together in the amber of time. You be your fossil

And me mine; you be your truth and me my lies. You be 

The sufferers and me the folly. The bitches and whores 

Of Immortality! Away from you I lie... Always.

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My cynicism immortal... (2005)

who said that the world is round? and who dare question,

my theories profound? profound they may not be...

but i do believe what i see. i believe that men are just mortals 

playing to the chord, i believe that my being is just a shody task 

of the crude god. believe the same I, 

that your fragments stem from my nihilistic eye.

where my mother doom stretches her arms

towards cribbing hope lying in a trance,

is it that child who you think 

would redeem your sins before you sink?

that child is mine; out of sins born a swine,

so rest not your desires on him,

for his life is eternally grim! i have seen lemmings

dying in herds, drowning in the water's bountiful curse,

men are but like flocks who die, clutching a cross forever defied.

troubles are but tests they say, to harden your faith on the gods of pray(prey).

then when does the hand rest your soul, and lift you to heavens as says the scroll? 

sufferings are but numbers alone, jotted down by a sceptre or a throne,

and when the court needs another bard,sums are finished

after calculations hard. stood there I naked in shame,

to entertain Elysium with fables of our pain. sat there the deities

clutching their faith, savouring my blood as if unfed.

gluttony is a sin or so they say, then why do i see the seven sins there?

its just us who Do exist, braving stony gods walking in the mist.

blurred they look walking in a queue, searching for a prey 

which nothing can do, but only feed a fetishist faith,

dying to live and fallen from grace.

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Blank Cheque

I left a blank cheque in the drawer.

Pick it up, use your ink and fill

The zeroes in. But, remember I filled

The ones and the twos when I was there.

Its a life of strange zeroes and blanks,

The nothing makes it all and the primes 

Just crumble along the way.But, remember

I filled the ones and the twos when I was there.

When the shroud covers the limbs and the

Soul consecrated, you will be there to 

Throw the roses in the grave. But, remember

Who filled the ones and the twos when I was there.

The shots and the shoots, the rhythm and the blues

All come together in this short flash of a life.

Just a flash and then your face and then... Will you

Remember who filled the ones and the twos when I was there?

©

To Metaland and back

Now that the muddy trails at the Palace Grounds have dried, the barricades and metal detectors been lifted and the recency effect of this humongous event is a past I chose to look back and relive those moments. When I think about that fateful day standing in the grounds with a ticket in my hand, metal in my heart and an eye out for friends whom I was supposed to meet after half a decade I can only think of one thing- the booming dual pedals of Lars punching my gut through the PA systems like I kissed an express train. Hell, I was waiting for shattered teeth, broken bones, sweaty hair and an ear full of music! My friends did not turn up or maybe were lost in that near cataclysmic wave of metalheads. The official figures are as high as 40k people. Although my personal estimates are on the slightly lower side, I still think it could easily put Glastonbury, Moscow and Perth to shame.

Anyway, after I realized that waiting any longer for my friends might put me way back in the audience away from the stage, I plunged into the entry point bottleneck. It was a deathtrap. A single-file, 2.5 feet wide entry point through which thousands, yes thousands of insanely eager fans were trying to pass. But, isnt that a part of being in a metal concert? The 'bone-crushing' excitement?? Hell yeah! After that the metal detectors swung into action and it was our turn to queue up and wait. I couldn't help but notice one thing despite the brouhaha about the Gurgaon issue. Bangalore is simply much more equipped and 'ready' to host bands like Metallica. Thats just a fact... no bias or lies or hate. Its just what it is. You ask why?? Well, bear with me... Coz Aerosmith,Iron Maiden (twice),Backstreet Boys,Elton John,Megadeth,Deep Purple,Amon Amarth,Lamb Of God,Mark Knopfler,Akon,The Black Eyed Peas,The Rolling Stones,The Prodigy,No Doubt,The Scorpions,Enrique IglesiasMachine Head ,Cradle of filth have played in this city and Bangalore took heed and improved the infrastructure, security etc. every time. 

Finally after a walk through the ill fated second and third barricade areas I reached mine. The front row enclosure!! Guys had already been lighting up the peace buds and the pouring fire water down their throats and I suddenly felt like I was in the woodstock era. After a lot of of pushing, shoving and relocating at the behest of the 'Safety First' dude (ppl who were there know what I am talking about) I found myself comfortably placed around the sound wall from where I could see the stage and also the the giant screen. Already some thieves had crept into the crowd. How do I know? Hell ask some of the people who had their iPADs, iPODs and Tablets stolen! Not to mention phones, mp3 players, water bottles and even food. But we all chose to overlook that crap and focus on the anticipation. My heart jumped with joy when I heard a girl scream, "That iPAD was from my boyfriend. But, who cares?? I will be watching f****** METALLICAAAAA!!!!" That said it all.

People were involved in public service all around! Passing joints from one corner to the other it was a calming sight and taste. Then Inner Sanctum started the metal mayhem! They were tight. Tight as hell! If they were any tighter insurance companies would dump JLo's assets and rush to insure these guys. There were good. They could only play for the alloted time of twenty minutes. It was a treat nonetheless. Then comes the guy who I am sure now regrets the day he thought of walking into this particular stage. Nikhil Chinappa, the sorry face of a channel which in its heydays played Soundgarden, Nirvana, Collective Soul and GnR but now focusses more on Aishwarya Rai's assets! The crowd's verdict was unanimous. Forty thousand people raised their fingers in unison to the following chant- Fuck you a**hole f*** off! Its a metal concert. Not a Bollywood marriage! He was there to introduce a band from one the contests held by his channel and boy did they suck... If they sucked anymore then it could have been a record genocide with 40k people chocking to death owing to the vaccuum. All everyone did was rest, aniticipate and ignore the noise.

Then came a breath of fresh air. Before I go into that, at this point I looked up  and saw smoke covering every inch of the grounds and people did look peaceful although by no means dampened...  So, in comes Biffy Clyro. Boy they sure did have that Scottish resolve to win hearts and the bravery to win over a crowd not ready to listen to anyone but big M. These guys did a brilliant job. It started raining and the metal fanatics, all 40k of them loved every inch of it. All wet and soggy and high and Biffy Clyro sure did set us up for the grand finale. It was comforting to know that these talented musicians were inspired by Metallica. 45 mins of excruciating, throat parching, limb numbing wait. Yes, that was what all of us were ready to go through after standing for 6 hours to watch the Gods! But then, who wouldn't? Oh well, then there are those people. And then? Ecstacy of Gold was what we felt and was played to usher in the One of the big four. Then everything passed in a climactic haze of disbelief, teary eyed hand signs of the devil, headbanging (and spectacles breaking), encore and moshing!! But yet, all those moments are so disctinctly etched in everyone's minds. The setlist was as follows:

1. Creeping Death

2. For Whom the Bell Tolls

3. Fuel

4. Ride the Lightning

5. Fade to Black

6. Cyanide

7. The Memory Remains

8. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

9. Sad But True

10. All Nightmare Long

11. One

12. Master of Puppets

13. Blackened

14. Nothing Else Matters

15. Enter Sandman

ENCORE 

16. Am I Evil?

17. Battery

18. Seek & Destroy 

The ineveitable happened. I had waited to meet my friends and headbang together and could not but, heavy metal being what it is with each riff, each drum pound and each jive I made so many like minded friends out there who did not need to be in touch after or before the concert but were ecstatic to be sharing that mind numbing music with you. Those moments will be frozen in time. Hetfield menacingly pushing the crowd to graduate from enthusiastic to metally, yes metally insane was only what the crowd wanted and on we went. Not caring about the splitting backs and the heavy heads and the tired legs but just what we came for... I dunno why but I quickly said a prayer during Nothing Else Matters for Dio, Dimebag, Kurt Cobain, Cliff and Rhandy Rhodes. The masters who are now raising hell! The people around me were a little sad prior to the concert coz apparently no pyrotechnics were to be allowed into the grounds.

But, knowing Bangalore I was quite certain that we will be happy. And there it was, although less the flames and the sparks flew at the key moments. Bangalore's was arguably the longest encore in any Metallica concert or so all of us would like to believe. At least I do. Rararara ra ra ra rara rara... Yes, the memory does remain. At that point I forgot the fight with auto rickshaw guy, the quarrel with the random girl who was a bad driver or even the f****d up AC in my hotel room. Every thing just somehow conspired to place me at that place on that evening. Somehow I was thankful to the electron, as George Carlin says. It was apparent that Metallica did not expect the Indian audience to be the way we were. Loud, united by metal and knowing all the songs and above all what Metallica was all about! That is what made them promise to revisit this hallowed ground for another day of metal mania. Bangalore searched for twenty years, metallica sought and together we destroyed all doubts and negativity. Now, thats what I call a concert and a landmark concert at that. Hell yeahhhh!!!

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